Let me explain the last couple of days.

Hard programming lecture (everything sucks I hate everyone)--> Marie Calloway writes on my wall (omg I'm going to die happy I can't even)

McHottie apparently looked at my fb and called me "really pretty" and kinda wants to get to know me (wtf omg life is gr88 what's going on this can't be real)--> Gets stuck in the worst storm I've ever witnessed and realizes that even my Sometimes-Britney Spears Pandora station complete with Christina Aguilera's "Come On Over" and Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday" can't even make a shitty happenstance like this ok (i hate everything i don't get why this has to happen oh no my apple products are going to suffer water damage and die) --> "fashionable" backpack I bought yesterday is waterproof unexpectedly (aw yay that's actually gr8)

In all seriousness this past year and a half have been so disorienting for me, so I don't know the last time I've actually functioned as a normal young adult. So I'm asking: is this how we are supposed to feel, like a constant yo-yo of emotions based on current occurrences? Or is it (OH MY GOD MY PANDORA STATION JUST STARTED PLAYING TRULY MADLY DEEPLY-SAVAGE GARDEN oh my goshhhhhh) supposed to be a constant state of "happiness"/"sadness"/"anger"? Idk if I'm the only one here but my emotions seem so latched onto what's going on at the moment and it's strange to feel such a big spectrum of emotion because of such a big spectrum of events going on right now?

Maybe I'm still transitioning from the nothingness of summer (oh my gosh "hero"-mariah carey, pandora is on point) but I dunnooooo being an young adult is difficult

bye

there's a party in mahhhhhahhhh head and no one is inviihiiiihiiited/yoooooooo will never come close to how i feeeeeeeeeeeel

I feel like I have so many funny stories I don't share in time so I forget them, so today something funny happened and I'm going to recount it.

Today was my first day as an editorial intern for arguably my favorite mag (which shall remain nameless). And so naturally,  last night I tweeted about how I was "scared shitless" and how I was trying to find "last-ditch attempts to make me cool" before today.

The day went well. I met everyone, and everyone was of course so so so hip. I wrote this fashion piece my first day. I was so surprised they were letting me write something for the website the first day, also scared because I had never written fashion before, let alone a NYFW runway review.

Anyway, as I was wearily leaving, imagining all the homework I had for tonight, I wasn't really paying attention to the content director, my adviser as I said bye to her. And then she said, "We loved the tweet! It was cute." And keep in mind, she's scary and intimidating and ombred and fashionable and cool and totally high-profile. So I freaked out inside and was mortified and didn't know how to respond.

I was very embarrassed but I checked my email a couple hours later and she emailed me that she had sincerely meant what she said and not to worry because "we love your tweets.xoxo" I responded saying how embarrassed I was and not to worry about it because it was my fault. And she responded that I shouldn't be embarrassed and then said "You're adorbs.xoxo"

Aw, life is so weird and strange but she made me very happy by typing that on her iPhone, an adjective she probably didn't think too much of when she threw it out to me: "adorbs."

Also, I hate when people brag about how being in New York City makes 9/11 exponentially more poignant for you; but as I was walking home tonight, I saw flowers and messages and letters in front of this firehouse and a woman crying in front of it and wow, it made things so different. I don't know. It's so surreal to be surrounded by direct victims of something so tragic. 9/11 felt so far away until the 10 yr anniversary last year. But, it's not far away at all.

Good night.
"xoxo"

Got to New York on Sunday. Today was the first day of my sophomore year.
I don't know how I feel. I feel kind of all over the place. I will write more soon I promise.
I want to write write too soon. I'll get on that.
Good night, my only reader whom I love whom I miss whom I hope is having a good day and night.